Learn to Ride the Waves
Think of your mental and emotional health like a choppy, swirling ocean. It’s deep, it’s rough, and there’s a lot of unidentified critters in there. Some critters are a delightful wonder to find. And some might seriously injure you. There’s a reason so many people are downright terrified to get in the there.
For those of us that do visit the ocean, how do we prepare? At the very least, we learn the basics of swimming beforehand and bring some floatation devices along. If we venture far off the shore we are really prepared. The boats we take are purposely engineered for the waves. They are chock-full of safety measures, tools, communication systems, and extra life rafts.
We would never willingly get dropped off in the middle of the ocean alone, not knowing how to swim, not having a floatation device, and not having any way to call for help in an emergency.
But that is exactly what most of us are doing when it comes to our mental and emotional health.
We are getting beat up badly by the waves of our emotions and thoughts. We are unnecessarily exhausting ourselves wading through the rough waters not knowing how to relax and float on the surface. We are suffering alone in the dark depths of our vast minds, not knowing where to go or what to do to find some reprieve.
No one truly taught us how to navigate our minds when we were young. No one gave us a tool kit of practices and quality communication devices to survive our own depths. No one taught us how to ride the waves of our thoughts and emotions instead of getting crushed underneath them.
No wonder mental health is still so stigmatized. No wonder people go great lengths to avoid themselves and their own minds. No wonder people develop addictions, self destructive patterns, and abusive tendencies. We are all in so much pain. People have been getting pummeled by these powerful waves for generations, drowning in their emotions, with no escape plan.
When we feel hopeless and lost, it’s hard to maintain the energy it requires to create a thriving life.
But there IS hope.
There ARE resources and explanations.
It IS possible to learn to ride on top of these waves, even if you’ve been getting pummeled for years.
I know because I was once that person.
As an introvert, I felt so trapped in my own mind. Lost, terrified and alone.
But if I can figure out how to ride the waves
you can, too.
How to Start Riding the Waves Today:
Start to separate out the thoughts you have, from the emotions you feel, from the facts of life.
Thoughts are our opinions. They are the incessant sentences we have in our head. They are optional, subjective, and they create all of our emotions. So they are pretty important to pay attention to.
Facts are the impersonal nature of reality. There is no debating a fact. Everyone in the world would agree on the fact. So if it’s a blue door: everyone agrees, that’s a fact. The moment you say it’s a pretty blue door: you’ve ventured into thought land. No opinions exist here. Only objective facts.
Emotions drive all of our behavior. How often do you pay attention to yours? What does sadness feel like? Joy, confusion, shame, humiliation? What do you do when you feel anxious? What do you do when you feel happy? Start to notice how the way you feel drives all of your behavior. Get to know your emotions. Name them, and then find the thoughts that caused you to feel your emotions.
We are in complete control of our thoughts and emotions. We cannot control the facts of reality. Most people have this backward. They try to control the facts of the world and believe they have no control over their own thoughts and emotions. The second we accept where our control is, and where it isn’t, we begin to learn how to ride the waves.
Relax, and enjoy the ride.
