How to Move Past Fear
Photo by Caleb Wood
Hello again my love.
Why do we have so many fears?
Are they helpful or useless?
How do we successfully move past them to get to where we’d ultimately like to go?
The why truly isn’t important.
I could give you an hour long lecture on your primitive brain and how it’s wired to focus on all that could go wrong. I could explain the exact science behind your brain’s Reticular Activating System and the wiring of Fight or Flight mode and how it’s always ready to leap into action.
But the why isn’t important.
All you need to understand is that you have SO MANY fears because you have SO MANY desires.
And desire is a GOOD thing. An AMAZING thing. One of the best parts of being a human.
But when we get so lost in the FEAR and forget about what’s really causing it—the desire to have, be, or do something more— we completely sabotage ourselves.
So let’s review.
We have so many fears because we are complex human beings with unique desires to grow and evolve.
Staying in fear is never useful, it’s only preventing us from making our desires into reality.
So how do we move past them and not get completely trapped in a glass case of only one emotion: fear?
It’s as easy as 1,2,3, ya’ll.
1. Go to your fear.
2. Go to your desire causing the fear.
3. Notice when you are in fear, switch back into desire.
Let’s expand.
1. Go to your fear. Really go there. We let fear fester under the surface for so long without EVER inventorying what it really is we’re afraid of. So sit down and let yourself go there. What’s the worst thing that could happen? List out everything you’re afraid of, everything that could potentially go wrong, all the way til the bitter end. Don’t hold back or censor it. Don’t edit it. Go there, mentally and emotionally. Face it all.
Death, humiliation, disease, rejection, whatever it is for you.
Get it out. Go as far as your mind will let you. If we never face what we are truly fearing, we will NEVER move past it.
2. Once you barf that out of your soul and mind, I want you to turn around and then go the other way. What is your highest desire in this situation? What is it you MOST want? What’s the best case scenario? Be so specific. Be so clear.
If you were in control and could choose how it would all go down, what’s the exact way you’d want it to go, what would that look like?
Here’s the thing, we usually don’t make it to this step. We stay stuck in fear and don’t allow ourselves to dream or imagine things working out. But taking the time to fully understand and visualize our specific desires is the only way to move closer to them. If you have a GPS and it’s not set to go anywhere, you’re gonna stay right where you are. So set that GPS location at your best case scenario.
3. Once you’ve done this thorough work, increased awareness should set in. When you automatically slip back into a fear and lack mindset—which you will— notice it. And then switch the focus back onto your desire. Thank the fear for stopping by and for reminding you that it’s only there because you have a strong, amazing desire and you’re going to choose to focus on that now.
This is a powerful process. I have used it for breakups, for training my dog, for improving my health. I’ll use it again and again and again because it works.
Our fears are here to help us, to show us what we really want. Don’t begrudge all your fears, do the work to transform them.
Soon you’ll LOVE when fear pops up because you’ll realize a new desire has been born inside of you. A desire for you to chase and make into reality.
Your friendly coach,
Ellicia
