Deserving vs. Committing
Photo by Brett Jordan
Here’s a wild concept I want you to consider.
The universe, God, whatever life force you believe to be in charge of things.. is not out here dividing and distributing some portions to the deserving folk, while withholding other portions from the undeserving folk.
Portions could mean anything. Portions of money, portions of joy, portions of success, appreciation, love—you name it.
That’s not how this loving, natural, magical world works, ya’ll.
That may be how you were unconsciously TAUGHT to think life works, but IT’S NOT.
(that IS how supremacy ideals work doh) (and they are working-working cuz they ARE the foundation of our western society) (and that alone is enough to make my tender heart ache)
If you wake up feeling stressed, frustrated, behind, worthless, resentful but then at the end of the day you aren’t doing ANYTHING tangible to help yourself feel more calm, present, worthy, and empowered— then YOU’RE PROBABLY A REDNECK.
Just kidding.
What I meant to say is you’re probably a victim to this “deserving mentality.”
I, too, am a victim of this category.
(And I can promise you, it shows up AND JUMPS RIGHT OUT AT YOU the minute you try to make transformative changes in your life.)
You see, this deserving mentality is only sometimes conscious.
And that’s usually when we think we DON’T deserve something GOOD.
”I can’t just quit my job and follow my real passions, that’s insane.”
”I don’t have time to take a walk outside everyday and meditate.”
”I wish I could travel there/buy that/receive this amazing/transformative thing my whole ass soul really wants, but I can’t afford it right now.”
You want the magic truth telling translation of all that BOOHOCKEY?
Here it is.
”I DON’T THINK I DESERVE THAT.”
What the fuck does that even mean?????S?SFDSDCLAKSD
Says who?!
(cough, patriarchy, capitalism, puritanism, toxic supremacy culture, sneeze, sniffle, snort)
We are so absorbed with this idea of needing to “deserve” something before we can have it or become it.
We haven’t even stopped to question the origins or legitimacy of this concept.
”YOU’RE A BASTARD, I SAY!”— me talking to this concept.
What’s even worse is, the majority of this mentality is unconscious and actually more focused on how you DO deserve the BAD things that happen to you.
(examples: car cuts you off, husband cheats and leaves and lies and poops in your favorite suitcase, someone you hate gets the promotion, your hairdresser didn’t get the color right, your favorite pants ripped in the butt, your best friend moved to Uzbekistan, they ran out of your favorite pastry at the cafe, your flight was cancelled, I could go on..)
What I mean to say is this:
People have a stronger (and more UNCONSCIOUS) belief that they DESERVE the bad things that show up in their life MORESO than they do have the belief (consciously) that they DON’T DESERVE the good things.
(this is an important distinction) (wow we are doing brain gymnastics on a wednesday) (hope you stretched)
If people didn’t hold this insidious belief that they deserved bad things to happen to them, everyone would be following their passions, rich, enlightened, orgasmed, and too busy making big moves to help the world evolve.
ON GOD. THAT’S MY THEORY. AND I AM SMART.
But that’s not what’s happening isnnit? (said that in a British accent, I did.)
NO!
People are stuck.
Tolerating a SURPLUS of bull shit on the daily.
SETTLING for shitty bosses, shitty pay, shitty relationships, shitty marriages, shitty communication styles, shitty outfits, shitty sex, shitty ethics, shitty values that don’t align with their hearts, shitty shits, shitty shittiness!!
THIS IS A WHOLE WORLD OF PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THEY DESERVE BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN TO THEM.
You know how I know?
Cuz this is a whole world of people who have internalized shame.
And shame has us believing to our core crazy nonsense like this ON THE DAILY.
So we have to play this game differently, folks.
We have to START by telling ourselves the truth.
And seeing what’s really underneath all our rage.
Retaining this idea of “deservingness” in your psyche is a lose-lose.
(you lose and the universe that wants all of your wildest dreams to come true loses, too)
Because you don’t deserve good or bad, sweet cheeks.
That’s the cold hard truth.
All that mess is totally made up and not real.
(I could say I deserve 40 kilotons of mayonaise on my grass)
(I could say you deserve 8 petals of roses glued to your toes)
??
It’s never been a matter of what you deserve.
Hog wash.
It’s always been a matter of what you’re willing to commit to.
You have to learn to replace all your old ideas of deservingness with NEW ideas of powerful, personal commitment.
Commitment that inspires rapid internal & external transformation.
And guess what’s required in order to actually have the skill of following through on commitment?
YOU GUESSED IT BISH!
Unshaming yourself and creating a solid, self-loving relationship to you.
(warning: this takes time)
(not an overnight make over like the tvs do)
(I can teach you how to create that in 24 weeks of awesome sauce work together)
Listen to today’s FULL episode of Stop Punishing Yourself below to learn more about the art of COMMITTING, in this land full of psychotic notions of deservingness.
I LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY OR ELSE.
Ellicia
